Comments on angryromancegrrl: Got Snark?

You vindictive litte-Vindictive? Are they putting ...

2008-02-15T08:54:00.000-08:00

You vindictive litte-
Vindictive? Are they putting vocabulary words on cereal boxes now?

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my *&$%^.

Shouldn't you be eating your prune danish?
Why would I want to do that?
Because you're obviously full of sh?t.

Don't go all Indiana Jones on me.

I plead the fifth, I know my rights.

Now you're just being snotty.

Weenie.

Hey moron. You could have used this book as a use...

2008-01-30T13:06:00.000-08:00

Hey moron. You could have used this book as a user's manual for the honeymoon! Only one of us had a good time.

You're just jealous. SEX SELLS!

Comment :oh, I’m sure you just churn them out. No ...

2008-01-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

Comment :oh, I’m sure you just churn them out. No offense.
1)oh, I’m sure only morons say that. No offense.
2.)One letter at a time. Kinda like how you read, come to think of it.
3) and yet you’ve written how many? Just keep telling yourself that.
4)ssh! You’ll spoil the secret! Then everyone will know!
5)Yep. Romance and kfc secret recipe. Just can’t crack either one, can you?

I don’t read those books.
1)Oh, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll use smaller words so you can enjoy them too.
2) whatsa matter? Mommy won’t let you read them?
3. well, maybe you will when you’re done with all the other porn on the net.
4) couldn’t get past the cover, huh? Some people just can’t hold their excitement....
5.) Why? They put them on the top shelf or something, short stuff?
5) oh, did you get lost in the bookstore again and couldn’t find them?
6) me neither. I just live it, every day.
7.) Maybe if you got a life you would.
8) all part of my plan for world domination.
9) oh. I guess you only watch it on tv with the other illiterates, huh?
10) What? Not white trash enough for you?
11) well, maybe if we made them animated like a cartoon you could follow along.
12) just tell yourself it’s art and shut the h up.
13) but don’t you remember? The last time you got drunk? That last book was all about you!
14) try smoking less pot. Maybe you’ll get it then.
15)oh no! Didn’t anyone want to read them to you?
16) I don’t write porn! Gasp! You just have a dirty, filthy mind! Pervert!

It’s not a real book.
1) lucky you. It will be much less painful when I beat you with it.
2) it is if you don’t need illustrations to get it.
3) if that’s the lie you tell yourself, whatever.
4) fine. I’ll add some high sounding garbage and we can both pretend to be pretentious.
5) and yet the fans, the acclaim, the checks are real. Hmmm.....

Why can’t you write nice stuff, instead of dark?
1)oh, I’ll carve happy little fairies on you. How does that sound?
2) it’s not dark. You’re just from another dimension.
3) it is nice. You must be the problem, pervert.

These are a hoot! I swear I did a 'spit take' at w...

2008-01-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

These are a hoot! I swear I did a 'spit take' at work. Note to self--do not read these at work.

It's going to be a bitch to pick a winner.

Hmmm...I kind of suck at being snarky--but oh well...

2008-01-20T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...I kind of suck at being snarky--but oh well. :p

For the person peering over your shoulder and reading your smutty book--then declaring (gasp) that it is smut and they would never read it:

1.Did you like the part of him entering her slick entrance with his raging inferno of love? (This works better when you remember to bat eyelashes innocently.)

2.Erotica is even more fun to write. I can name a man's c**k by at least 20 different names: (Begin to list in a very loud voice, especially if in public to emberrass them)
Shaft, cock, little fireman...

3.Get your own smutty book. (I need to credit a friend in my MCRW group for this one)

4.You know what smut stands for don't you?

Smart-ass
Misunderstood
Undeniaby sexy
Temptresses

5.What's the matter? Doesn't have enough pictures for you?

6.Then why are you reading it now?

7.Your loss, but you could probably learn a thing or two by reading more.

***I really loved the comeback with a shrug,that my sex life is better than yours. **Smiles

It should end with a child like taunt though of, Neener--neener--neener. :p

I started reading romance voraciously when I was i...

2008-01-18T18:26:00.000-08:00

I started reading romance voraciously when I was in college. As an English and history major, my peers used to find out that I read romance and comment in shock, "But you're so smart!"

To which I would say:

Well, I picked up romances because I was tired of reading "classic literature" that only had:

(a) men

(b) women in the background

(c) whores and adulteresses who are punished with death

(d) virtuous mothers who die in childbirth

(d) delicate maidens who die of consumption

Yeah. Noticing a theme here? Call me crazy, but I like books where women are taking action. Getting what they want. Having really great sex.

And I don't think that makes me any less intelligent than the poor person in the corner trying to prove that Hester Prynne is really a feminist icon (no she's not. She was a pariah, people).

Y'all are HARSH! Remind me not to get a romance w...

2008-01-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

Y'all are HARSH! Remind me not to get a romance writer pissed off at me :)

Laurel: it was my pleasure to post on the FF&P loop. That, or I was merely following directions from the chip Sharron put in my head years ago. Hard to say for sure.

answers:you don't like sex then?oh dear, I'm cryin...

2008-01-18T16:13:00.000-08:00

answers:

you don't like sex then?

oh dear, I'm crying all the way to the bank... (I think that was Mary Janice Davidson but I could be wrong)

and when people do that patronizing "Oh you're published? Would I know who you are?"
I always tell them I'm Nora Roberts

cheers!

"Sorry, I don't read."Oh, yeah, I can tell that ju...

2008-01-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

"Sorry, I don't read."

Oh, yeah, I can tell that just by looking at you.

*sneer* "You write romance?"

Yep. How's that drudge-in-a-cubicle job workin' out for ya?

"I'll read you when you write a real book."

Okay. Come see me when you have a real brain.

Literati: I don't read those type of books.RomWrit...

2008-01-18T09:19:00.000-08:00

Literati: I don't read those type of books.

RomWriter: How sad, but then if romances weren't trashy, Neanderthals would read!

Okay, that first effort happened way too early. C...

2008-01-18T06:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, that first effort happened way too early. Can I revise my entry?

Talk to the bank account.

My entry:Talk to the checkbook, buddy.Thanks Cathy...

2008-01-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

My entry:

Talk to the checkbook, buddy.

Thanks Cathy in AK for posting the contest on FF&P!

Hm. Right, because alllll those self-help books yo...

2008-01-17T16:19:00.000-08:00

Hm. Right, because alllll those self-help books you read REALLY did the trick. ;

Hi all!!OMG--this is going to be tough! There are ...

2008-01-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

Hi all!!

OMG--this is going to be tough! There are some very funny and very SNARKY people out there. Yay!

Sharron

Tracy (waves back) Damn those were good!And this I...

2008-01-17T12:18:00.001-08:00

Tracy (waves back) Damn those were good!

And this IS going to be a lot tougher than I thought. We got some snarky-assed minds out there! (wow, that sounds disgusting, doesn't it) Okay, I'm settling in with my triple granda mocha to read more...keep 'em coming!

You don't read those books? I guess the cereal bo...

2008-01-17T12:18:00.000-08:00

You don't read those books? I guess the cereal box takes too long to finish.

You don't read those books? That's okay, your husband's girlfriend does.

You don't read those books? Is this because Dr. Phil said you needed to spend more time exercising?

I don't think I would actually say any of these but it's funny to think about.

Jody W.

I have an entry from someone who was having comput...

2008-01-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

I have an entry from someone who was having computer issues and emailed me instead.

Michele Hart says: "Sorry to to hear about your boring sex life!" HA!

Good one, Michele :)

Spam word: megaadz--big advertisements on lolcats?

(waving--Hi, ladies!)Oh, this is going to be soooo...

2008-01-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

(waving--Hi, ladies!)

Oh, this is going to be sooooo difficult : )

OK, not mine, but must post it anyway!(waving to A...

2008-01-17T07:21:00.000-08:00

OK, not mine, but must post it anyway!

(waving to Amy, Tracy and Cathy)

It's Debbie Macomber's (given the recent plagiarism debacle, gotta quote your sources!) She was at a signing and the lady told her with a *sniff* "I don't read those kind of books."

Debbie replied, "What, no pictures?"

OK, and now my own...because I need another t-shirt...like hell and damn, no, but I can't resist. After all it's angryromancegrrl!

What about:
1) "And I care because?"

2) "I'm sorry were the aliens talking to you again, because it came out all garbled?"

3) "Well of course you don't read romance. That takes an intellgent, sophisticated individual who can appreciate the subtle nuiances of subtext."

4) "WTF? Did I ask you?" ::::glare with laser eyes until there is a quarter-sized hole in forehead::::

AND...

5) ::::shrug:::: "Bet my sex life is better than yours."

(High-five, Cathy! And hello, Amy!)I'm a judge?! T...

2008-01-17T05:52:00.000-08:00

(High-five, Cathy! And hello, Amy!)

I'm a judge?! Then I can't post snark?

I'll post some anyway, because I'm just a rebel like that:

1) Oh, I'm just too, too impressed that you only read literary fiction. Has Stephen Hawking's think tank begged you to join them yet?

2) Here's one I get a lot: "I'd read your book if you wrote actual suspense."
My response: "I'd give you a copy if you had an actual brain.":

3) Generally, I believe in nonviolence, but for you, I'll make an exception. ::::roundhouse kick to the forehead::::

Hi ladies,I liked #3 the best. Okay I am going to ...

2008-01-17T04:51:00.000-08:00

Hi ladies,I liked #3 the best. Okay I am going to give it a try. How about

How dare you!

What no romance in your life

Hi! I'll give it a try.The following is a dramatiz...

2008-01-16T22:37:00.000-08:00

Hi! I'll give it a try.

The following is a dramatization of actual events. Only the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

I ran into an old friend a month or two ago. We chatted a few minutes and I told him I was writing a book. I explained it was romance.

A few weeks later he emails me and asks if I want to come over and do "research" for my book.

My reply: "Research? You need help with research? Go get a book and read. Maybe then you'll learn something."

Hey, I live in the land of Starbucks, what do you ...

2008-01-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

Hey, I live in the land of Starbucks, what do you expect?

Too much coffee today, Amy? :)

2008-01-16T19:47:00.000-08:00

Too much coffee today, Amy? :)

Woohooo! This should be fun. Give us your best...

2008-01-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

Woohooo! This should be fun. Give us your best snark, people! We're some seriously tough judges, so whimpy entries will be laughed at publicly and thrown in the ceremonial fire for our amusement. You think Simon Cowell is tough? Hell, he's a sniveling school girl compared to us.

Muwahahahahahahahahaha....