Adventures in Tech Support

I had to call tech support the other day. Now, I could rant about that, but what annoyed me even more than a laptop having fits was the company’s phone system. All multi-option phone systems are irritating as hell, but what made this one worse was that it used voice recognition. They try to pick a soothing voice that doesn’t piss you off, but when it repeats every thing you say, it could sound like freaking James Bond and you’d still go insane. Do you know what would make it more interesting? If they would make a voice recognition programs that understood swearing.
Sharron's Perfect World of Tech Support

System: “You’ve said Tech support. Is this correct?”
Me (after taking five minute to get to here). “Yes.”

System: “Please indicate one of the following: “Software. Hardware. Operating system. Peripheral”
Me: “Hardware.”

System: You’ve said Hardware. Is this correct?”
Me (starting to steam): “Yes.”

System: “Please indicate one of the following. Desktop. Notebook.”
Me: “Notebook Dammit.”

System: I did not understand your answer. Please indicate either Desktop or Notebook.
Me: “Bastards. Just transfer me to a live person.”

System: “Transferring now.”

Another scenario

System: “Please say one of the following. Tech support. Billing. Home Sales. Business Sales—“ Me (beating the phone against the desk): “Fuuuuuuuck!”
System: “I see you’ve asked for customer service. Transferring now”.

Yes, I have some rage issues when it comes to phone systems. Who doesn’t? Companies overuse the options so it takes a gi-normous amount of time to get to where you need to go. And by the time you get to a live person, you’re so angry you’re venting all over the poor sap. Thinking about it, my perfect world of tech suport would be having a computer that worked and not having to call tech support....ever!